One Year Later: An Anniversary in Failing to Ship.

It's been one year since the Goldstream River incident. When some pranksters decided to throw a shitload of plumbing dye into the river turning it neon green, and I was lucky enough to capture it on film (digital film).

It's been one year since I decided that this year would be different. I finally had some kind of motivation and inspiration. I had attention put on what I would consider is "my craft." I was published, and this was going to be the turning point.

This was going to be the point in my life where all the puzzle pieces went together seamlessly, and everything was going to make sense. I was going to be and do something.

First things first I needed to reevaluate how I was presenting myself as a "serious photographer," let alone a professional one. I needed to get my ass in gear. I needed to do what it takes to get my name out there. It was up to me and not to anyone else.

My name was out there, and so were my photos. It's not everyday you get picked up by British news agencies.

I started contemplating the tools I was using to create "my product." In this case it was a beat up, out-of-date Panasonic camera. It was trustworthy, but at this point I couldn't keep up with most point-and-shoots in image quality. I was already falling behind the competition, and I hadn't really started. I could still take a great picture, but it would never be clear or good enough in my books.

Unfortunately it's not like I can just drop several thousand dollars on a new camera. I had bills to pay and excuses to make. So, I put it off until I had a few dollars saved up and literally couldn't wait any longer. I took the blind leap into buying a new camera, and it paid off. I could already tell the difference in my photographs after a week of using it.

***Another thing I had to evaluate was what I was using to promote myself online. This is still something to this day I've failed to push forward on.

What else was I using to promote myself? A portfolio website my partner-in-crime Darryl Ring graciously made me short notice several months prior so I could work a music festival. The website is now outdated, and really needs a serious update of not only work but looks too.

This is sort of where I fall short with almost everything to do with my online presence. I lack pretty much all knowledge of how to make a website. More importantly a decent website. I currently rely on the kindness, time, and talents of my friends to do anything website related. I just take photos as far as I'm considered the websites are made using magic.

If there is one thing I want to get done in the new year it's this. A functional website. I think this has kind of been my goal for too long.

I've begun to wonder about my dependence on others to accomplish my goals. Shouldn't I responsible to for my own goals and not others? A goal for the new year (not resolution) is to limit and lessen my reliance on others. Still asking for help, but putting in the work myself as well.

I feel like I blew my chance to roll with the momentum of the green river incident by not being prepared or willing to putting in the work that came along with it. A once in a life time chance I may never get again. Now the best I can do is continue working on my skills, portfolio, and myself in hopes that one day it will build to a respectable career of doing something I love to do.

Here I am a year later wondering where the year went, and where my ambitions I started 2011 with went. I'm left wondering why it was so easy to let an opportunity slip by without noticing. I'm not getting younger, and things like this aren't just going to keep happening.

I don't look to 2012 as the year I'm going to "make it," and I'm certainly not setting myself up something like that. I look towards tomorrow as the day I'm going to work on being a better person, and finally making that push to finally shipping something, myself.