An Existential Crisis.

It’s Christmas time and you know what that means, presents. I'm one of those people who doesn't like getting Christmas presents or presents in general. When people ask me what I want I tell them the truth. Nothing. I don't want anything from anyone.

I don't mind giving presents to a select few people in my life. My family and maybe two or three of my close friends, but even then I don't always feel like it is necessary to get them a present. To me it seems like I'm putting a price tag on something that is intangible. “Here is your gift. It cost me $29.99 and that is how much I care for you.

All of this really has nothing to do with what I want to talk about though. It is just part of my feelings during this most festive and gift filled season.

Today, my mom mentioned what my dad was thinking of getting me for Christmas.* Something he thought I would think is neat and would be useful to me. I casually let her know that it isn't a practical purchase for me as I wouldn't be able to utilize it for what it is designed for. In hopes she would pass the message on. Later on in the day I got a phone call from her telling me he had spent all day going around town looking for this present for me and finally got it, but she would make him take it back. Or we would figure it out later on.

Now I'm filled with this guilt for not wanting something that my dad clearly put thought into and spent a majority of his day looking for. It isn't really something I want or need, but isn't it the thought that counts? That's kind of the idea I'm stuck on. Do I accept the gift and try to utilize it as well as I possibly can even though it isn't exactly practical for my uses or do I refuse the gift in hopes of not hurting anyone’s feelings?

I was driving home from dropping off a friends family at the airport tonight thinking about this when Mick Jagger crooned “you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need.

No truer words said.

*Note: My family isn't really that big into Christmas so often we don't wrap each others presents and will let each other for Christmas ahead of time.