Piss and Vinegar.

So I'm standing at a urinal in the Charles Dickens Pub bleeding the lizard if you will when some guy slaps me on the back and says "What the fuck was with that band? They sucked."

Dude, I'm pissing how about some fucking personal privacy! I understand you have those homoerotic urges to look at my small penis while I'm taking a piss but don't touch me. It's really unnerving. I wonder what else you are going to try do while I have my attention focused else where.

Also if I'm taking a piss don't talk to me because I don't care. Actually I wouldn't care anyways I don't know you or your popped collar. So take your trucker hat and flip flops and piss somewhere else. I'm not your piss buddy and I damn well never will be.

You want to know why? Because you didn't wash your hands after you went to the bathroom and when I saw you in the Pub later you were making out with a girl with your hands on her face. Plus you seemed to be a douchebag.