Float On.

Four hours on a river and I want more.

This morning I woke up again with my bed sheets, pillow cases, and duvet cover thrown off my bed. It is some kind of weird thing I do when I sleep sometimes. Last night I think it had to do more with my sun burned legs more then anything.


So yesterday "Breakfast For Champions" finally got to go tubing on the Cowichan River. This time the weather didn't suck testicles. In fact it did the complete opposite. The sun was shining, the river was pleasantly refreshing, and the company was good.

I was the first in the river. I stepped off the solid ground then fell straight into the river almost taking Rozie out and getting covered in mud. I sank knee deep into the mud and broke a sandal. I then got thrown off my inner tube a few times. So I decided to go trade it in for one that was way less suck.

Twenty minutes later we were off slowly. Rozie was down two beers, flipped her tube, and Shaynebow was being Shaynebow (a diabetic in denial).  I think Kathryn was the only sensible one of the bunch of us.

Eventually Rozie tried to flip everyone into the river. I jumped off a dock, Shayne had two sips of alcohol, and I fell of my inner tube in the rapids. Someone rescued my sandals more then once, I thought someone was having sex on the beach, I fell of my inner tube, someone rescued my sandals again, and I fell off my tube. I have no centre of balance (most fat people don't).

After four hours (it is only supposed to take 2.5 hours) we arrived at the pick up point. We goofed around till we got picked up while people around us got high. Kat and Rozie caught the

first bus. Shaynebow and I didn't.


We grabbed dinner at the Cow Cafe. They fucked up my order and fixed it fast. Kat got Advetnure Flu which causes you to pass out in a washroom and possibly puke on a stranger. All this without drinking more then a beer.

Best adventure to date.

**Photo of me taken by Rozie Amos.