Saturday night is for thinking.

I’ve had quite a few things on my mind lately and they all spurred from a conversation with a coworker the other day.

“You don’t want to do this for the rest of your life. So what do you want to do?”

It was a good question that has left me stumped for the last week. It made me question a lot of things I’ve been doing lately. My response was “I don’t have a fucking clue, man.”

So I’m here with the same quandary that I’ve been going over for the last few years of my life. What do I want to do? And frankly I still have no fucking idea. I know what I don’t want to do but that doesn’t put me in a better situation of know what I want to do.

I’ve been told what I should do with my life, but who wants to do what they are told.

Another thing that has come up lately is bumping to old friends and classmates who have started families, gotten or are getting married, and are paying mortgages on homes. This is such a foreign concept to me. Yes it would be great to own something like land, a house, or even a car. But to me those feel like constraints holding me to a place that I don’t even know if I’ll want to be for the rest of my life. Don’t get me wrong I love Vancouver Island and right now I couldn’t see living anywhere else but who knows what will happen.

Another thing is starting a family I’m way too young for that in my opinion, and couldn’t fathom that at this point in my life. I’m not in a situation where that is possible but still.

Right now I have some short term goals and we will see if I can pull those off. I’m not crossing my fingers yet that I will either.

I invest my money into my future, I have a job that I’m content with, and I enjoy being to do my own thing right now. I think what I’m trying to say is I don’t want to be a full fledge responsible adult yet.